Ignore the judgmental looks of the cashier and rest your weary head. PHOTO: SARAH HALL

Every student in Bergen will at some point come to the question, «what should I eat that's neither expensive, nor healthy?» Consider this your answer.


Annonse

Everyone knows that the food you eat after leaving the nightclub is the most important part of any night out. It’s the calm after the storm, an opportunity to rest your feet, and for some, the time for a last-ditch attempt at finding someone to go home with. Crucially, food has no age limit, so if you’re under 20 and fail to get into your bar of choice, you can always get food as consolation.

Understandably, then, the location for said drunk food is absolutely crucial. I, your loving journalist, have scraped the barrel for the best drunk food places in Bergen. Peruse at your leisure, and use this knowledge well.

The statue outside McDonald’s is a very good listener. PHOTO: SARAH HALL

McDONALD’S

Torgallmenningen 11

Price – $

Closing time – open 24 hours a day

Vibe / cleanliness – this is among the busiest places on the drunk food scene. It can be blindly fluorescent and overly loud, but you know what you’re getting. The seats are almost always full, so don’t expect to rest your feet. Try not to dwell too much on how sticky the floor is.

Proximity to nightclubs / public transport – far enough from Bryggen for the cold air to sober you up, but close enough to Bybanen and the buses to make this a convenient last stop on your night out.

Best item on the menu – chicken nuggets and fries. It’s a classic combination that fills you up without risking the disappointment of a soggy Big Mac.

Best for – waiting for the tram if you miss the last one, and the option of getting a toy with your food. This is literally Disneyland for drunk people.

OVERALL SCORE: 8/10

Los Tacos even plays music outside the shop to keep you entertained. PHOTO: SARAH HALL

LOS TACOS

Olav Kyrres gate 27

Price – $$$

Closing time – midnight Mon-Tues, 4 AM Wed-Sat, 11 PM Sun

Vibe / cleanliness – this is the kind of place you could reasonably go to during the day and not be able to tell that it was full of drunk students just hours before. Relatively classy, and doesn’t make you feel like you need to wash your shoes after stepping in – however it doesn’t have a bathroom, so any emergencies must be taken outside.

Proximity to nightclubs / public transport – while some distance away from the nightlife area, it’s redeemed by the fact that it’s right next to Bybanen and the main bus stops.

Best item on the menu – any one of the burritos on the menu are guaranteed to satisfy. A perfectly crunchy tortilla around fresh ingredients on the inside, it’s not quite greasy enough to make you feel sick. Guac is, of course, extra.

Best for – convincing the person that you’re going home with that you’re not as trashy as your hair gel and body glitter make them think you are.

OVERALL SCORE: 7/10

Get some crispy onions and pretend to be #SaltBae. PHOTO: SARAH HALL

TREKRONEREN

Kong Oscars gate 3

Price – $

Closing time – 4 AM Mon-Fri, 6 AM Sat-Sun

Vibe / cleanliness – usually geared toward tourists during the daytime, Trekroneren is a little place with friendly staff and an easy, reliable menu: hot dogs, in startling variety. It’s not too busy, but offers very little shelter if you’re caught in the rain.

Proximity to nightclubs / public transport – nice and close to Bryggen, and not too far from major bus stops.

Best item on the menu – the reindeer hot dog, especially if you’re an international student as it ticks the ‘typical Norwegian experience’ box. Get some crispy onion and lingonberry sauce on top and you’re in business.

Best for – hot dogs. Prepare for disappointment if you want anything other than that, and for satisfaction if you’re a fan of the sausage.

OVERALL SCORE: 7/10

Bask in the glory of the dodgiest food in the whole city. PHOTO: SARAH HALL

KEBABHUSET

Christies gate

Price – $

Closing time – midnight Sun-Wed, 4 AM Thurs-Sat

Vibe / cleanliness –  close your eyes. Picture fluorescent lights, suspicious stains on the tables, in your nose the smell of something deep-fried. Now, open. This is Kebabhuset. Their falafel are not actually falafel, and Bergens Tidende reported that it shut after failing a food inspection, and yet, miraculously, it still stands. This place is not to be scorned – it is a denizen of the gastronomical scene in Bergen.

Proximity to nightclubs / public transport – with two minutes from Kvarteret and five from bybanen, Kebabhuset is the ideal place to wash up after a night out.

Best item on the menu – doesn’t matter. It all starts to taste the same after 3 AM.

Best for – strengthening your immune system. The staff are friendly, and the food will satisfy with its winning combination of flavour and grease, so leave your fears at the door and come on in.

OVERALL SCORE: 9/10

All hail the underrated 7/11 panini. PHOTO: SARAH HALL

7/11

Olav Kyrres gate 9

Price – $$

Closing time – open 24 hours a day

Vibe / cleanliness – to many, the glowing red-and-green sign of the 7/11 is a symbol of safety, cleanliness, and quality food, and they’re not wrong. You’re guaranteed a warm snack without waiting an age, but there’s nowhere to sit, so it’s more of an in-and-out situation.

Proximity to nightclubs / public transport – close enough to Bybanen and the buses for it to be a quick stop before going home, but something of a trek from local bars.

Best item on the menu – a hot panini after a night out will fill you up and tide you over until the inevitable Grandiosa pizza at home.

Best for – separating the men from the boys. Anyone who can pay 69-, for a subpar panini is worth holding onto.

OVERALL SCORE: 5/10

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